Fuck-Offenham - The Reveal

We had a plan. It was apparently foolproof. What could go wrong?

The monster Offenham 2 cabbage that I posted about here was left in the ground as planned, with us holding what was ultimately an idiotic idea of getting some seeds from it, that way we could always eat monster cabbages. Turns out you need about 20 plants in total before you can successfully get brassicas to do their thing. We probably had about 20 plants a few months ago, but we ate them. Cos they are bloody lovely. Too lovely.

We decided to lift the cabbage earlier this week as it still hadn't run to seed and Mudrock is also off to France and then Spain next week for a month, and I needed someone to hold the camera while I posed with the bastard under my arm. I always wanted to be a model.

Me losing at hide and seek

It turns out you can't just 'lift' a cabbage of this size, so secateurs were retrieved from the shed. But then it soon became apparent that they weren't big enough either, so we had to get a bloody saw out.

So for your viewing pleasure, here is the moment, a mighty cabbage fell. (May contain swearing, jerky camera movement, and the incoherent, bemused ramblings of idiots and a cabbage.)

Once the task was completed, we posed for photos, as anyone would. Look out Facebook, you're about to see some cabbagey profile pics.

The proud father holds aloft the mighty Offenham 2

One man, one vest, one cabbage.

Luckily it's nearly the time of year to get sowing your spring cabbages. I reckon we will be. Maybe we can grow an 18lbs cabbage next year!